As of lately, I have been reading Foxe's Book of Martyrs. I am sure that most of you that have read that book know how absolutely saddening it is to read, yet how it can be just such an inspiration. I have not yet turned the last page of this book, but have felt so inspired by the reading of the pages that I have read, that I would like to share with you all my thoughts that have come to me as I have read this book. These thoughts have come to me occasionally, but never before with such intensity as they have come with reading this book. I am not ashamed in anyway whatsoever to say that I have cried more than once while reading this book. Never before have I read a book that has left my heart so broken in two. When reading in detail the tortures that many brothers and sisters in Christ underwent for their faith--our faith--my heart would break, as it still does. These tortures were not just any tortures, they were horrifying tortures. Tortures that no human being, especially a child of God, should have to undergo. I would consider myself blessed to just have been beheaded, rather than having to go through the horrific torture in which Christians had to go through for their faith. Yet here comes the inspiring part; the part above all else that made the tears fall from my eyes when reading this book: they never gave in, they never stopped loving God, they never asked Him why they had to suffer so much for believing in Him, they endured all of it with much fortitude, they died ready to be with their Savior. While this book is heart-breaking to read, it is worth it. The level of inspiration that I have obtained from this book is beyond anything I've ever gained when reading a book (other than the Bible).
One of the stories that has lept out at me amongst all the others in the book was a story of a 15 year old boy. 15 years old. This young man was being tortured for being a Christian. Again, he was just 15 years old; younger than I. He endured torture and was in the end martyred, for he would not let go of his faith. He would not utter one word that denied His belief in Christ Jesus. That was very powerful for me to read. So many young men at that age nowadays are so absorbed in themselves that it is disturbing. I often times wonder what those young men would think when hearing of another young man their age being put to death because of a belief that he held so strongly; a Love that he could not deny; a God that he would not forsake. One story was of a man, who upon hearing that a sister in the faith was going to be handed over to the "brutality of lust" (as John Foxe put it), took measures to remove her from such a punishment to save her purity and keep her from the torture into which she was going to enter. Because of the measures he took, and because of helping the woman escape, he was soon found out to be a Christian, and was given the punishment of death. When the woman heard of his punishment for helping her, she went back. She begged that the punishment be given to her, rather than the man that saved her from her punishment. In the end, they were both beheaded and thrown into the fire. I look at that story and am really just amazed. The actions from both the man and the woman (but particularly the woman) was powerful to read. I look at that man and what he did for his sister in the faith and ask myself this: How many men of this world would be willing to do what he did for his sister in Christ? Not many. How many women of this world, even, would do what the woman in that story did when hearing about her brother in Christ's punishment for helping her? Not many. We can all gain so much at just reading the stories of these incredible brothers and sisters in Christ. We can be inspired in so many ways.
The thought that has kept on coming to me while reading this book, while reading of the various tortures in which our brothers and sisters in Christ underwent, is this: Could I do that? Could I? Could you? I have found myself starting to pray that God would give me the strength in Him that I will need if I were to ever undergo any sort of torture for His name. I pray that if I ever have to undergo it, that He would be my strength, my endurance, and my joy. My flesh cowers at the thought of there ever being a possibility; my flesh tells me that I cannot, yet I know with my God as my strength I can. And that is what I must rest in. I don't want to ever cower at such a possibility, but rather be courageous in my Lord, to be able to look at that possibility and say, "Lord, if that time comes I will be ready, for You will be my strength and my endurance. May Your name be glorified."
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Contentment in Waiting
I am so glad to finally be posting this! It is a post that I have been working on and thinking about for quite sometime now. I pray that it may encourage and/or bless some of you that read it.
"Now godliness with contentment is great gain." -1 Timothy 6:6
When looking at the context in which the above verse is set, you will know that "contentment" in that verse is being used in regards to being content when it comes to riches or wanting more. However, I want to use that verse in regards to having contentment in waiting. Not having contentment in such things as money, clothes, books, etc., but rather the contentment that we, as Christians, need to find in waiting. Finding contentment in waiting has been one very hard and very long lesson for me to learn (and I am not done learning it). By God's grace, I have been able to be more content this past year of my life than I ever have been before. Yet there is still a restless feeling that I have about me; a longing and a want to do what God has been calling me to do for years: foreign missions. For well around 6 years now, I have felt the call to be a foreign missionary, and I have always taken that call very seriously. As the years have gone by, and as my desire for the mission field has grown, the harder and harder it has been for me to remain content in waiting. I always felt that I needed to go and be a missionary right then, and if I couldn't, then everything else was just miserable for me. That was literally what it was like at times. I let my discontentment in waiting in that area affect almost every single area of my life. That is not how a child of God should handle discontentment; a child of God should find and strive for contentment in Him. And through Him, we should be content in every area of our life, because He put us there. See, I was so focused on going and being that missionary; fulfilling that calling, that I was letting things go by in my life that I should have been cherishing and finding contentment in. Again, that is not how a child of God should have handled discontentment.
The calling that God has given us (whether that be a calling to the mission field, a calling to be a wife/husband, or a calling to be both, etc.) is a wonderful thing, and we should have a great passion and longing to pursue it and do what He has called each one of us to do in life. But it seems that too many of us (myself included) are often times so easily brought to discontentment when we are not able to pursue our God-given calling quick enough. One thought that I've always had in regards to that was that it's not wrong for me, in any way, to be discontent in not being able to pursue the calling that God gave me. My discontentment in wanting to pursue my calling was not selfish; I wanted to do it because I love my God and I wanted to give Him the glory through the fulfilling of my calling. I want others to know and love Him and give Him the glory that He so undoubtedly deserves! While there is nothing wrong with that pure desire, there is something wrong with why I was discontent. I was failing to look at the bigger picture in regards to that. Yes, my motives were good, but the results were not. Being discontent with having to wait to fulfill the calling God gave was not glorifying to Him. I'm pretty sure there's a reason why I haven't set one foot on a foreign mission field by now. Do I want it? Absolutely. Actually, not to sound too extreme, but my heart is not here; it is in whichever country God places me in. I have such a passion and such a longing for that foreign mission field that I undoubtedly know God has called me to, but God has not blessed me with the fulfilling of my calling as of yet. I handled that with immersing myself in discontentment. What does that say about what I think about God's sovereignty, and about His perfect timing? Is our God not all-sovereign? Does He not have perfect timing for everything? Will He not bless each one of us with the fulfilling of our calling in His own perfect way, and in His own perfect timing? You bet He will! I have been able to find so much contentment in just asking myself those questions and knowing Who my God is and that He knows what is best for me. In that I have found contentment. Trusting in the fact that our all-sovereign God has a reason (and a very good reason) why we must wait, has given me much contentment, and in doing so, handling it in such a way that glorifies Him.
There's yet another valid question to ask ourselves in regards to this, though: what can we be doing with our time now, while we're waiting, to help prepare ourselves to fulfill our God-given calling? I can't fully explain to all of you that might be reading this how God has so greatly used that one, simple question to help me. He has used it so much to help me in regards to finding contentment in every day life while I'm waiting. All I have to do is look around me and see the things and people that God has placed in my life to prepare me for the fulfilling of the calling that He has given me. I've just had to look. That's it. I've just had to look and see with the eyes of someone fully content in Him and His timing for everything. Perhaps another thing that has made me wake up to the horridness of discontentment is the fact that time flies by. Our lives on this earth are very short. We shouldn't be spending it in discontentment in waiting for something; we should take the time while we're waiting and use it; make the absolute most of it for God's glory. When the time comes for us to really fulfill the calling that God has placed on each one of our hearts, we will be able to take what we learned from the time we waited and apply it to our calling. I will never know for sure how exactly God plans to use all of the things in my life now, during this time while I'm waiting, for when I am serving Him on the mission field. I can take a few guesses, but only He really knows, and I do know one thing for certain: He will use them.
Let us all have a zeal and a passion towards doing and fulfilling what God has called us to do in life; but let us also be content in waiting for it to come; content in knowing that God will make it come when He wills it to. And while we're waiting, let us all gain from what we have now; let us not overlook it in discontentment, but let us all learn from and truly cherish all of those simple day-to-day things with the knowledge that God will use them for His glory and our good. Let us be fully content in Him.
"Now godliness with contentment is great gain." -1 Timothy 6:6
When looking at the context in which the above verse is set, you will know that "contentment" in that verse is being used in regards to being content when it comes to riches or wanting more. However, I want to use that verse in regards to having contentment in waiting. Not having contentment in such things as money, clothes, books, etc., but rather the contentment that we, as Christians, need to find in waiting. Finding contentment in waiting has been one very hard and very long lesson for me to learn (and I am not done learning it). By God's grace, I have been able to be more content this past year of my life than I ever have been before. Yet there is still a restless feeling that I have about me; a longing and a want to do what God has been calling me to do for years: foreign missions. For well around 6 years now, I have felt the call to be a foreign missionary, and I have always taken that call very seriously. As the years have gone by, and as my desire for the mission field has grown, the harder and harder it has been for me to remain content in waiting. I always felt that I needed to go and be a missionary right then, and if I couldn't, then everything else was just miserable for me. That was literally what it was like at times. I let my discontentment in waiting in that area affect almost every single area of my life. That is not how a child of God should handle discontentment; a child of God should find and strive for contentment in Him. And through Him, we should be content in every area of our life, because He put us there. See, I was so focused on going and being that missionary; fulfilling that calling, that I was letting things go by in my life that I should have been cherishing and finding contentment in. Again, that is not how a child of God should have handled discontentment.
The calling that God has given us (whether that be a calling to the mission field, a calling to be a wife/husband, or a calling to be both, etc.) is a wonderful thing, and we should have a great passion and longing to pursue it and do what He has called each one of us to do in life. But it seems that too many of us (myself included) are often times so easily brought to discontentment when we are not able to pursue our God-given calling quick enough. One thought that I've always had in regards to that was that it's not wrong for me, in any way, to be discontent in not being able to pursue the calling that God gave me. My discontentment in wanting to pursue my calling was not selfish; I wanted to do it because I love my God and I wanted to give Him the glory through the fulfilling of my calling. I want others to know and love Him and give Him the glory that He so undoubtedly deserves! While there is nothing wrong with that pure desire, there is something wrong with why I was discontent. I was failing to look at the bigger picture in regards to that. Yes, my motives were good, but the results were not. Being discontent with having to wait to fulfill the calling God gave was not glorifying to Him. I'm pretty sure there's a reason why I haven't set one foot on a foreign mission field by now. Do I want it? Absolutely. Actually, not to sound too extreme, but my heart is not here; it is in whichever country God places me in. I have such a passion and such a longing for that foreign mission field that I undoubtedly know God has called me to, but God has not blessed me with the fulfilling of my calling as of yet. I handled that with immersing myself in discontentment. What does that say about what I think about God's sovereignty, and about His perfect timing? Is our God not all-sovereign? Does He not have perfect timing for everything? Will He not bless each one of us with the fulfilling of our calling in His own perfect way, and in His own perfect timing? You bet He will! I have been able to find so much contentment in just asking myself those questions and knowing Who my God is and that He knows what is best for me. In that I have found contentment. Trusting in the fact that our all-sovereign God has a reason (and a very good reason) why we must wait, has given me much contentment, and in doing so, handling it in such a way that glorifies Him.
There's yet another valid question to ask ourselves in regards to this, though: what can we be doing with our time now, while we're waiting, to help prepare ourselves to fulfill our God-given calling? I can't fully explain to all of you that might be reading this how God has so greatly used that one, simple question to help me. He has used it so much to help me in regards to finding contentment in every day life while I'm waiting. All I have to do is look around me and see the things and people that God has placed in my life to prepare me for the fulfilling of the calling that He has given me. I've just had to look. That's it. I've just had to look and see with the eyes of someone fully content in Him and His timing for everything. Perhaps another thing that has made me wake up to the horridness of discontentment is the fact that time flies by. Our lives on this earth are very short. We shouldn't be spending it in discontentment in waiting for something; we should take the time while we're waiting and use it; make the absolute most of it for God's glory. When the time comes for us to really fulfill the calling that God has placed on each one of our hearts, we will be able to take what we learned from the time we waited and apply it to our calling. I will never know for sure how exactly God plans to use all of the things in my life now, during this time while I'm waiting, for when I am serving Him on the mission field. I can take a few guesses, but only He really knows, and I do know one thing for certain: He will use them.
Let us all have a zeal and a passion towards doing and fulfilling what God has called us to do in life; but let us also be content in waiting for it to come; content in knowing that God will make it come when He wills it to. And while we're waiting, let us all gain from what we have now; let us not overlook it in discontentment, but let us all learn from and truly cherish all of those simple day-to-day things with the knowledge that God will use them for His glory and our good. Let us be fully content in Him.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
So Far as the East is From the West
Last evening, I attended a Casting Crowns concert; and while I knew that concert was going to be amazing, I didn't quite expect that it would turn out to be as amazing as it was. So many things talked (and sang) about were things that are dear to my heart, things that I needed to hear, and things that God is continually working in my life to improve. Words cannot fully say how inspiring and uplifting that concert was for me. God spoke to my heart in so many ways through the songs that were sang and the words that were being said. It was just amazing. His name was being praised and glorified, the love for Him pouring out of the hearts of His children through singing, shutting their eyes, raising their hands, and bowing their heads was amazing; I thank God for that experience. It was truly a blessing to be a part of. Starting with this post, I will be taking the songs that were sung at the concert (particular lines in the songs, that God used to really speak to my heart), and will be sharing with you all how God used them in my life.
Today, particularly, I am feeling strongly led to write about their song "East to West." Before they started playing that song Mark Hall (the lead singer) was talking about how often times we tend to dwell so much on our sin rather than who we really are in Christ because of what He did for us on the Cross. Personally, that was something that I really needed to hear. I am one that goes through times where I am pretty disgusted with my sin; and while I really do believe that is something that a Christian should feel in regards to their sin, I also believe that we can oftentimes belittle and "limit" God's grace because of it. But here's the thing: yes, we should get to that point with our sin to where we are just so disgusted with it and cry out to God that it be removed from our lives; but instead of dwelling on that, and letting that rule your thoughts, cast it down at Christ's feet and know that no matter what your sin is, it is indeed covered by Him. Have that knowledge of sin in your life, know what the sin is, pray to get rid of it, but don't dwell on it. Dwell on Christ and what He did for you; dwell on the fact that yes, our sin is terrible, but yes, God has covered it with the blood of His Son. Let the horridness of your sin make you so overwhelmed with love for our God who has taken it away through His Son! This is something that God is still teaching me, but by His amazing grace, I know that I will at some point in my life grasp the reality of the above. While I do grasp it at times, I long and pray that I may be able to grasp it all of the time!
"So far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
Those two verses out of the Bible are two verses that are very dear and near to my heart. I pray that God continues to use them mightily in my life, that I may be able to see who I am in His Son, that I may be able to read them and know that it is no longer I who live, but Christ Who lives in me. That I may know that the life that I now live I live by faith in Him, Who loved me and gave Himself for me and you. That I may know that He has cast my sin so far as the east is from the west. With this said, I leave you with the lyrics to the chorus of the song "East to West" by Casting Crowns.
Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from west,
Because I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again,
In the arms of your mercy I find rest,
Because You know just how far the east is from the west.
From one scarred hand to another.
Today, particularly, I am feeling strongly led to write about their song "East to West." Before they started playing that song Mark Hall (the lead singer) was talking about how often times we tend to dwell so much on our sin rather than who we really are in Christ because of what He did for us on the Cross. Personally, that was something that I really needed to hear. I am one that goes through times where I am pretty disgusted with my sin; and while I really do believe that is something that a Christian should feel in regards to their sin, I also believe that we can oftentimes belittle and "limit" God's grace because of it. But here's the thing: yes, we should get to that point with our sin to where we are just so disgusted with it and cry out to God that it be removed from our lives; but instead of dwelling on that, and letting that rule your thoughts, cast it down at Christ's feet and know that no matter what your sin is, it is indeed covered by Him. Have that knowledge of sin in your life, know what the sin is, pray to get rid of it, but don't dwell on it. Dwell on Christ and what He did for you; dwell on the fact that yes, our sin is terrible, but yes, God has covered it with the blood of His Son. Let the horridness of your sin make you so overwhelmed with love for our God who has taken it away through His Son! This is something that God is still teaching me, but by His amazing grace, I know that I will at some point in my life grasp the reality of the above. While I do grasp it at times, I long and pray that I may be able to grasp it all of the time!
"So far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
Those two verses out of the Bible are two verses that are very dear and near to my heart. I pray that God continues to use them mightily in my life, that I may be able to see who I am in His Son, that I may be able to read them and know that it is no longer I who live, but Christ Who lives in me. That I may know that the life that I now live I live by faith in Him, Who loved me and gave Himself for me and you. That I may know that He has cast my sin so far as the east is from the west. With this said, I leave you with the lyrics to the chorus of the song "East to West" by Casting Crowns.
Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from west,
Because I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again,
In the arms of your mercy I find rest,
Because You know just how far the east is from the west.
From one scarred hand to another.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Pursue the Passion
As I sit down to write this post, I'm not sure what the affects of it will be. I am writing this post purely because I feel that I need to; I feel that God is leading me to. Something has been on my heart and mind over these past months; something that has been concerning me for two years now. This something is the need for Christians to step out and do something for our God. There is so much that needs to be done in our country and throughout the world; there is so much that we, as God's children, could be doing to share the love of Christ in whatever way we feel led, all for the glory of Him. There is just so much, but so few of us choose to actually step out and do something. Sure, we can all spend years talking about doing something, but when do we really step out and do it? When does the talking end and the doing start? It could very well start now.
There are so many passions that I have in life that I feel God is using or will use for His glory. Some of the things that He has given me a passion for, I have stepped out and pursued. Maybe not in big ways, but I am taking and using the passions that He has given me either way, big or small. My heart breaks every time I see a baby or small child that is nothing but skin and bones in a poverty-stricken country. When seeing those pictures, all I want to do is take that child and love and nurture them back to health. God has given me a passion for stopping poverty, and helping those who are living in it. The way in which I am trying to fulfill that passion, as of now, is by sponsoring a little girl in Rwanda, Africa. While that is not big; it is something. It is the way in which God has called me to take action in regards to stopping poverty, and it has blessed my life amazingly. One area that I have a passion for is reaching out to troubled teen girls in my own country; and showing them that they can find the True Love that they are looking for in Christ; a True Love that provides the Love that no man could ever give them; a Love that they are truly seeking after; a Love that can truly only be found in Christ. So far, the only way in which I have stepped out and followed this passion for God's glory is by being friends with troubled teen girls. That's it. Nothing big, but I do pray God uses it as He wills. Excitingly, God has been leading my best friend and I very strongly to start a ministry for troubled teen girls in the future. It will be a very long term goal, but most definitely a goal worth pursuing!
So, now that I have explained my passion and how I am stepping out and pursuing them; I want to ask you all some questions: What is your passion driven towards? How could you be stepping out and pursuing those passions for God's glory? Think about those questions. Is your passion driven towards stopping poverty in other countries? Then get involved with an organization that helps stop poverty, or start an organization with like-minded people over time. Is your passion driven towards stopping the sickening things that are happening in our very own country? Then find ways, start ways, or get involved with ways to stop those things. If you have a passion to start something that could take years to make happen, then start on it now; move toward that goal; pray to God that you can obtain it for His glory. We are God's people; His children. If He gives us a passion, are we going to sit here and just talk about how we could take that passion and use it, or are we actually going to step out and doing something with that passion? Over this past year, my eyes have been opened to how lazy we all can be in this area; but I have also seen the outcome when people have taken their passion and done something with it for God's glory. The results of that can be amazing! Yet, there are just so many teens; so many young adults; so many adults, even, that have such amazing passions but do absolutely nothing with them. This has got to stop! We are not called to live our life for ourselves; we are not called to do nothing. We are called to glorify God with our time here on earth; we are called to step out and do things for others so that they may see His love and His glorious name written across every word; every action; and every thing we do.
Today, as I was driving home from the store with my three sisters, the song "My Own Little World" by Matthew West came on the radio. As I turned up the volume and just listened; that song spoke to my heart. There is a bigger picture in life outside of our own little world; there is a greater purpose for our lives then just sitting in our own little world. I love these lyrics in that song: "Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me open hands and open doors. Put Your light in my eyes and let me see, that my own little world is not about me." We can do so much with God; we can do those things talked about, yet never done; we can step-out of our own little world; we can do all with the help of our God; we can do all with the One who empowers us with the ability and the strength to do so; we can do all things through Him! So, please, let us all step out of our own little worlds; let us all, as the children of God, make a difference in a world that is broken.
There are so many passions that I have in life that I feel God is using or will use for His glory. Some of the things that He has given me a passion for, I have stepped out and pursued. Maybe not in big ways, but I am taking and using the passions that He has given me either way, big or small. My heart breaks every time I see a baby or small child that is nothing but skin and bones in a poverty-stricken country. When seeing those pictures, all I want to do is take that child and love and nurture them back to health. God has given me a passion for stopping poverty, and helping those who are living in it. The way in which I am trying to fulfill that passion, as of now, is by sponsoring a little girl in Rwanda, Africa. While that is not big; it is something. It is the way in which God has called me to take action in regards to stopping poverty, and it has blessed my life amazingly. One area that I have a passion for is reaching out to troubled teen girls in my own country; and showing them that they can find the True Love that they are looking for in Christ; a True Love that provides the Love that no man could ever give them; a Love that they are truly seeking after; a Love that can truly only be found in Christ. So far, the only way in which I have stepped out and followed this passion for God's glory is by being friends with troubled teen girls. That's it. Nothing big, but I do pray God uses it as He wills. Excitingly, God has been leading my best friend and I very strongly to start a ministry for troubled teen girls in the future. It will be a very long term goal, but most definitely a goal worth pursuing!
So, now that I have explained my passion and how I am stepping out and pursuing them; I want to ask you all some questions: What is your passion driven towards? How could you be stepping out and pursuing those passions for God's glory? Think about those questions. Is your passion driven towards stopping poverty in other countries? Then get involved with an organization that helps stop poverty, or start an organization with like-minded people over time. Is your passion driven towards stopping the sickening things that are happening in our very own country? Then find ways, start ways, or get involved with ways to stop those things. If you have a passion to start something that could take years to make happen, then start on it now; move toward that goal; pray to God that you can obtain it for His glory. We are God's people; His children. If He gives us a passion, are we going to sit here and just talk about how we could take that passion and use it, or are we actually going to step out and doing something with that passion? Over this past year, my eyes have been opened to how lazy we all can be in this area; but I have also seen the outcome when people have taken their passion and done something with it for God's glory. The results of that can be amazing! Yet, there are just so many teens; so many young adults; so many adults, even, that have such amazing passions but do absolutely nothing with them. This has got to stop! We are not called to live our life for ourselves; we are not called to do nothing. We are called to glorify God with our time here on earth; we are called to step out and do things for others so that they may see His love and His glorious name written across every word; every action; and every thing we do.
Today, as I was driving home from the store with my three sisters, the song "My Own Little World" by Matthew West came on the radio. As I turned up the volume and just listened; that song spoke to my heart. There is a bigger picture in life outside of our own little world; there is a greater purpose for our lives then just sitting in our own little world. I love these lyrics in that song: "Father, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me open hands and open doors. Put Your light in my eyes and let me see, that my own little world is not about me." We can do so much with God; we can do those things talked about, yet never done; we can step-out of our own little world; we can do all with the help of our God; we can do all with the One who empowers us with the ability and the strength to do so; we can do all things through Him! So, please, let us all step out of our own little worlds; let us all, as the children of God, make a difference in a world that is broken.
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