Letting Go of Anxiousness

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I love those verses in Philippians. They are so true, so comforting. They are verses that I have read over many times. . .as a matter of fact, they are verses that I have practically memorized. Yet, when I read them the other morning, they stuck out at me in a whole new way. The other morning was one of those mornings where I was anxious, where I was fretful. I hate both with a passion, yet I allow my mind to wonder, my fears to take hold of me, and I have to fight not to let them suck every bit of joy that I have. I'm sure some of you know what I am talking about here. . .the absolute misery you can cause yourself by allowing anxiousness, fears, and worries to slowly creep into your mind. Philippians 4:6-7 provides encouragement, comfort, as well as joy when it comes to those things.

I hate worrying. I hate being fretful. Both are aspects about myself that I really do detest and pray that God would continue to help me overcome. In my personal life, I am often fretful over what people think of me, how they might have taken something I said (yes, that's also selfishness). Did they take it wrongly? Do they understand me? Did I hurt them? These questions, my dear friends, can drive a person crazy, while stripping all of our joy from our lives.

In my personal life, I am often fretful and anxious when it comes to my friends. I can all too often let myself worry that I have hurt them in some way, said something wrong, or done something wrong. When the fact of the matter is: I never said anything. I never did anything. It was my fretfulness that created it. (And on a side note here: there are times where I have said and done things that have hurt people I love. I never mean to do it intentionally, but it does happen. And when that does happen, by God's grace, I ask for forgiveness. But God is also teaching me to help place the outcome of that in His hands. . .to not worry about how that person views me afterwards.) I know that my fretfulness over hurting my friends comes from a very deep scar on my heart left by past friendships. Past friendships that were not true friendships; my friends were not true friends. Because of that past, I have very few people that I can call 'close friends', very few people who I trust. With my friendships with those who I do trust, who I love dearly, and care about immensely, I do still fret about them, and I am still anxious (which I'm sure they can occasionally--if not all the time--find annoying). I have let past circumstances and past hurt create in me an anxiousness and a fretfulness with my friendships now. How right is that--to let past circumstances and hurt affect the present, to let the anxiousness that comes from that to suck the joy from my life? How is that trusting in God? It isn't.

God has so greatly been working in my heart in this area in the last couple of weeks. Some of you may be able to relate to the fretfulness and anxiousness in regards to friendships, but for those of you who don't: you could be fretful and anxious over things that you want to make happen. Will it actually happen? What if it never happens? (Wanting to get married would be a good example.) They could be things caused by past hurt. Yet, in either case, we have to stop the thoughts, the questions. We can't let it suck away our joy, invade our minds. . .we have to trust. We have to trust in our God and King. We are not to be anxious about anything, no matter what there is to be anxious over, or what past hurt has caused it. We can take those things to God that we're anxious about, those things we are fretful about. We can lay them at His feet, trusting in His will and His turn-out. By doing that, we are opening a door to peace--peace that comes from God. That peace will guard our hearts and our minds in Christ Jesus. That is guaranteed. I can't help but think how awesome that is, how assuring that is, how comforting that is, how encouraging that is! It is my prayer that God continues to work in my heart in this area; that He will continue to drive out fear and anxiousness so that I may better trust Him. And, dear friends, with that trust and peace in knowing that He will work all out for our good and His glory comes an amazing sense of joy. Overwhelming joy! It has always been and always will be a complete wonder to me how trusting in Him fully can bring so much joy to ones life. Our God is truly good; may we continue to learn to trust in Him fully!